Dinner Disaster Aficionado Gifts

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"My dad ate my homework."

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Say when!"

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

Smoke gets in your eyes.

How to watch television wo getting spaghetti sauce, , ,

"It's a tad undercooked."

An Energetic Susan.

"How is everything?"

"Gesundheit!"

"I didn't get the timings quite right, the meat will be ready next Thursday."

"Here's to a clean start ..."

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

"Your squash medley will be right out, sir."