Dining Disaster Fan Gifts

"Here's to a clean start ..."

'How was the snapper, sir?'

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

'I told you not to order the stake.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

'The molto randy refelled her genoise.'

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Say when!"

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Captain, this Brie is totally out of control!"

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

Sneezing dragon.

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"Gesundheit!"

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"How is everything?"