Dinner Disaster Aficionado T-Shirts

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"My dad ate my homework."

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Say when!"

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"It's a tad undercooked."

"Gesundheit!"

"How is everything?"

An Energetic Susan.

How to watch television wo getting spaghetti sauce, , ,

Smoke gets in your eyes.

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

"Here's to a clean start ..."

"I didn't get the timings quite right, the meat will be ready next Thursday."

"Your squash medley will be right out, sir."

"Not here,sir - I suggest you try the church next door."

"Waiter, there seems to be a toupee in my soup."

'That was delicious! Do I have food on my face?'