Dining Disaster Aficionado T-Shirts

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"Waiter, there seems to be a toupee in my soup."

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"My dad ate my homework."

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"Say when!"

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

Sneezing dragon.

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

"Gesundheit!"

"How is everything?"

Murphy's Slaw.

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

Smelly fish.

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"It's a tad undercooked."

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"Here's to a clean start ..."

'Will there be anything else, sir?'