Culinary Disaster Aficionados T-Shirts

"My dad ate my homework."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'My hero!'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"How is everything?"

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

'You must be the only wife who uses a smoke alarm as a food timer!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"Okay, let's eat."

Sandwich Fail

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Smelly fish.

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'