Gourmet Disaster Artist T-Shirts

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'My hero!'

"Hello?"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'The casserole didn't make it.'

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"My dad ate my homework."

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

'Is it still edible?'

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

:Time to check out a YouTube video?"

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Whoa! That's a lot of flame, Beth. I'll pick up a fire extinguisher on my way back from the gym."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

Volcano and plane

"How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?"

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.