Culinary Disaster Enthusiast Pillows

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'My hero!'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"My dad ate my homework."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

"Okay, let's eat."

Smelly fish.

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

"How is everything?"

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'