Culinary Disaster Enthusiast Pillows

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'My hero!'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"My dad ate my homework."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

"How is everything?"

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"Okay, let's eat."

Smelly fish.

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'