Foodie Disaster Lover Pillows

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"My dad ate my homework."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

Smelly fish.

"How is everything?"

'You must be the only wife who uses a smoke alarm as a food timer!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

Sandwich Fail

Smoke gets in your eyes.

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'