Culinary Disaster Enthusiasts Pillows

"Well,that must be a television FIRST-Delia Smith BURNING a roast!!!'

Smelly fish.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'My hero!'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"My dad ate my homework."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"Okay, let's eat."

'You must be the only wife who uses a smoke alarm as a food timer!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"How is everything?"

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'