Cooking Mishap Master Pillows

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

DIY expert.

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

'I don't think it's cooked yet, but there's smoke coming out of the oven.'

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"Arrrrrrrrr. This be bad."

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

'Your kinect is broken.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

Firemen called to a cooking accident.

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Murphy's Slaw.

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

'A small amount of milk can turn into so much.'