Foodie Mishaps Pillows

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'My French is not so good.'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"Arrrrrrrrr. This be bad."

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

Murphy's Slaw.

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

Man faced with a fridge full of food can't find the dinner left for him by his wife

'We had to cancel the shish-ka-bob - Our chef isn't allowed to handle sharp objects.'

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."