Foodie Faux Pas Fans Pillows

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

HELLth Food Sprouts

The Return Of The Minipants

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

Fifty Gallon Head.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

"What? I slept seven months."

"Man's best friend with benefits"

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

"Dad."

'Whoever said 'dressed to kill' hasn't seen your average murderer.'

'My God, Edward †not a tweed BATHING SUIT!'

"That's not 'smart casual'."

"I feel so silly. I got dressed in the dark and it was the first thing I grabbed."

"For the hundredth time, you snip a lose thread you don't pull it."

A Hint for Tailors - The British Abroad

A man and a woman on a date have a fish head and tail for dinner.

'I hate these braces!'

'Your mother's bound to be upset. How was I to know we'd both be wearing the same outfit?'

"It's a 38 suit I wear."

Instead of blue cheese, can I have mozzarella? And instead of vinaigrette, can I have tomato sauce? And instead of lettuce, can I have dough? And instead of tossing it, can you bake it? Salads.

Fake Santas