Social Faux Pas Lovers Pillows

"It was a great first date. And I loved hearing how your body stores fat differently than other people."

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

The Return Of The Minipants

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

Fifty Gallon Head.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"What? I slept seven months."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

"Man's best friend with benefits"

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

"You've got the job, but you've got to change your clothes."

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

Cargo briefs