Social Faux Pas Fan Pillows

"Man's best friend with benefits"

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

The Return Of The Minipants

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

Fifty Gallon Head.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"What? I slept seven months."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

"I couldn't find my other wig."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

Cargo briefs