Social Faux Pas Sympathizer Pillows

"I got a ticket in California for asking a lactose intolerant woman to say cheese, before taking her picture."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Don't worry, boss, he ain't gonna be takin' his shoes off on an airplane no more."

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

"Man's best friend with benefits"

"You might consider new socks as well."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

"You've got the job, but you've got to change your clothes."

"That's not 'smart casual'."

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"

'Oh, so when you said wear a...Ok, now I get it.'

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."

"Dad."

Cargo briefs

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

"For the hundredth time, you snip a lose thread you don't pull it."

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

"Public display of rejection"

"So you didn't get the neck-a-chief memo?"