Social Faux Pas Admirers Pillows

"On this very sad occasion - and on all occasions - I’d like to remind everyone that I graduated from Harvard."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

The Return Of The Minipants

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

Bachelor gettin giddy from dancing

Fifty Gallon Head.

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"Man's best friend with benefits"

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"What? I slept seven months."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

A vampire preferring to use a napkin when sucking blood.

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.