Social Faux Pas Admirers Pillows

"On this very sad occasion - and on all occasions - I’d like to remind everyone that I graduated from Harvard."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

The Return Of The Minipants

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

Fifty Gallon Head.

Bachelor gettin giddy from dancing

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

"You might consider new socks as well."

"What? I slept seven months."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"Man's best friend with benefits"

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

A vampire preferring to use a napkin when sucking blood.

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"