Social Faux Pas Enthusiast Pillows

"Hey, sorry to call you guys this late on a weeknight, but I just happened to be in your basement."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

The Return Of The Minipants

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Don't worry, boss, he ain't gonna be takin' his shoes off on an airplane no more."

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

Fifty Gallon Head.

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

"You might consider new socks as well."

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"What? I slept seven months."

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"Man's best friend with benefits"

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

"You've got the job, but you've got to change your clothes."

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"