Conversation Faux Pas Enthusiast Pillows

"Phil had no idea what he was talking about."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

The Return Of The Minipants

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Fifty Gallon Head.

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"What? I slept seven months."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"Man's best friend with benefits"

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

Don

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

"Tell me, do you ever shut up?"

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."