Conversation Faux Pas Enthusiast Gifts

"Phil had no idea what he was talking about."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

The Return Of The Minipants

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

Fifty Gallon Head.

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

"Man's best friend with benefits"

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"What? I slept seven months."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

"You've got the job, but you've got to change your clothes."