Social Faux Pas Fan Gifts

"Man's best friend with benefits"

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

The Return Of The Minipants

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

The Bland Leading the Bland

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

Fifty Gallon Head.

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"What? I slept seven months."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

"I couldn't find my other wig."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

'Oh, so when you said wear a...Ok, now I get it.'

"I feel so silly. I got dressed in the dark and it was the first thing I grabbed."

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"