Social Slip-up Aficionado Gifts

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? It's been a little while since I read a social cue."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"Man's best friend with benefits"

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

"Be careful what you say, Senator. Putting your foot in your mouth greatly increases the risk of athlete's gum."

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"

Widow advising a man that men often owe their success to the beauty and social charm of their wife.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"So you didn't get the neck-a-chief memo?"

"I was proud of you tonight. You were just hostile enough."

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'Well my problem is that I can never tell if a girl likes me or not.'

"I never know what to do with my hands at a party"

'Apparently the car pool has a dress code I was not aware of and so now I have to take the bus like some idiot.'

'On The Face Of It.'

"You'tll scare people to death dressed like that." "What people?" "Well, me for starters!"

The Burger and the Whopper.

'This is a bit awkward, but we'll have the chicken.'

"Must you create a scene every time the bill arrives?"

'Stay for dinner? Are you sure? - We don't want to wear out our welcome.'

'Static cling like you wouldn't believe.'

"This is my first job interview, so I'd like to apologize for my tie not matching my flip flops."

Don't make eye contact... Don't make eye contact...