Social Blunder Fan Gifts

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"You know, there are other emojis."

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

The Return Of The Minipants

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

Privatized Jails

I break for toilet paper

Alpha males through the ages!

"Suppose we leave the salary unchanged but get smaller women."

Coca-Cola Inc: 'Gentlemen, is it too late to be bailed out for 'NEW' Coke?'

How Will They Manage without Us?

"This guy looks like he's really out of touch."

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'She's dealing multiple prescriptions. This is the 3rd pharmacy today where she got these highly addictive Chocolate Bits.'

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"I hear you're something big in the city?"

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"It's true she's back to the same weight she was on her wedding day, but remember that she was 9 months pregnant with triplets then..."

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

Fifty Gallon Head.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"International Women's Day... When do men get their day?"

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

Death to Stultophobia

"I'm crossing the road to keep my social distance."

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'

"Worm puree? No, it seems the old lady was sh*tfaced again last night!"

"What? I slept seven months."