Social Blunder Fan Gifts

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"You know, there are other emojis."

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

The Return Of The Minipants

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Privatized Jails

I break for toilet paper

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

Alpha males through the ages!

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

'She's dealing multiple prescriptions. This is the 3rd pharmacy today where she got these highly addictive Chocolate Bits.'

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"This guy looks like he's really out of touch."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"It's true she's back to the same weight she was on her wedding day, but remember that she was 9 months pregnant with triplets then..."

Fifty Gallon Head.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"I hear you're something big in the city?"

"International Women's Day... When do men get their day?"

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"I'm crossing the road to keep my social distance."

"What? I slept seven months."

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"They don’t seem to mind us — it's the humans they want to keep away."