Social Embarrassment Aficionado Gifts

"Must you create a scene every time the bill arrives?"

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Let's consider an early dive."

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

Czarcasm

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'What's your blood type?'

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

"That's not just our motto, that's our pay scale."

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

Corporate Darwinism

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"Wrap it in any old bit of newspaper - she's bound to return it."

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"Phew! Your breath. What have you been eating?"

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

Passive-Aggressive Dog Talk: "You a boy or a bitch?"

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

Three office doors: 'Idea People,' 'Make It Happen People,' and 'Make it Like This Never Happened People.'