Faux Pas Enthusiast Gifts

'How's my brother? No change, I'm afraid - he's still dead...'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

The Return Of The Minipants

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"Pardon my glove."

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

Fifty Gallon Head.

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'

"What? I slept seven months."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

Gloria called

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."