Faux Pas Enthusiast T-Shirts

'How's my brother? No change, I'm afraid - he's still dead...'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

The Return Of The Minipants

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Pardon my glove."

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

Fifty Gallon Head.

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"What? I slept seven months."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."