Meal Disaster Enthusiast Pillows

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"My dad ate my homework."

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'How was the snapper, sir?'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

Smelly fish.

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"Okay, let's eat."

"How is everything?"