Meal Disaster Enthusiast Pillows

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"My dad ate my homework."

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'How was the snapper, sir?'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"Okay, let's eat."

Smelly fish.

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"How is everything?"