Dining Disaster Delight Pillows

'Will there be anything else, sir?'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

No, sir, that entr

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"My dad ate my homework."

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

"Say when!"

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

Sneezing dragon.

'Waiter! -- this alphabet soup is making unwelcome sexual remarks!'

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."

'No, it's not that good, but it is that expensive.'

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'