Dining Out Disaster Enthusiast Pillows

"Your squash medley will be right out, sir."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"My dad ate my homework."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

Sneezing dragon.

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

Smelly fish.

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

An Energetic Susan.

Murphy's Slaw.

"It's a tad undercooked."

"How is everything?"

"Gesundheit!"

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

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