Dining Disaster Appreciator Gifts

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

Sneezing dragon.

Grandma's caf

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

Eye of Newt (evidently the favored hamburger condiment for witches)

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

"Say when!"

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Say 'when' or just think it really hard... I'm also kind of a psychic.'

'That must be a television FIRST - Jamie Oliver burning the roast!'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"It's a tad undercooked."

"How is everything?"

Murphy's Slaw.

"Gesundheit!"

"My husband brings all his friends here, so I'm looking forward to tasting the food."

"He pulls this every time the check arrives."

"Here's to a clean start ..."

"I didn't get the timings quite right, the meat will be ready next Thursday."