Dining Disaster Survivor Gifts

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

Murphy's Slaw.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"A little under done?"

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'My hero!'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

Sneezing dragon.

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'