Dining Disaster Survivor T-Shirts

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

Murphy's Slaw.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"A little under done?"

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

'My hero!'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

'I told you not to order the stake.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

Sneezing dragon.

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'