Messy Meal Maestros Gifts

Oops.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

"Look at you! Dirty all over! I told you not to play with your ink!!"

"Since I proved in my last lecture that none of us really exist...I'm going to change this to a cooking class!"

"But this way I know where everything is."

'You know what's better than bubble wrap?'

"Our next online purchase will be a commercial trash compactor."

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

I think the revolution's started - his room's in an awful mess!

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

"You're the only man I know who can clean a filthy cooker with two slices of bread."

'Of course I would have preferred to be a music prodigy...'

'Why are you flicking paint on the floor...'

'This plate is wet.'

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."

'Is this the remains of last Sunday's beef roast, or something left over from the dawn of creation?'

"You've probably already guessed, ...I'm the bluebird of sloppiness."

'I'm waiting until someone develops a Weapon of Mess Destruction.'

"I fed the baby but if you don't want to see the results look away now."

Okay, little miss I-Hate-Everything-We're-Having-For-Dinner, do want the pouting or non-pouting section?

'More dirt=more bubbles!'

'I'm not untidy! I know where I have to look for the things I need! My socks are under the livingroom table, my underpants are behind the couch, the shoes are in the bathroom...'

Wait...who's she talking to?