Signature Skeptic Gifts

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Alternative Medicine

"God works in mysterious ways."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"I totally meant to do that."

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Doing Something About the Weather

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

"Social service teams are claiming that they can't recruit workers because of the vicious, biased reports we write about them!"

Science deniers Soc.

Documentation Please

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."

"Delusional scientific elitist..."

"I take it the tortoise wasn't available."