Slogan Skeptic Gifts

MJX Corporation: Committed to Excellence and Whatnot.

'I can't put my finger on it, but something doesn't seem right.'

"'Love makes a Subaru a Subaru' my eye!"

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

Excuse me, sir, if it's not too much trouble … Hi, Democrats. What can I get you? Coffee Sandwiches? An explanation. We introduced our bold new plan last month: "A Better Deal," but the progressives still aren't impressed. What more could they ask for? We focus-group tested the heck out of the slogan. It was the least objectionable and least un-inspiring of the bunch! It evokes FDR's "New Deal" and LBJ's "Fair Deal" without over-promising. We don't want to risk over-promising. It even sounded pr

"I remember when walls weren't so bossy."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'My philosophy has always been, sell advice, don't follow it.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"I totally meant to do that."

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"If I hear the word ‘mindfulness’ one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it."

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

Science deniers Soc.

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Documentation Please

*Sigh*

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.