Statement Skeptic Gifts

"I thought all the bills we were going to ignore were coming electronically."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Science deniers Soc.

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Documentation Please

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

Alternative Accountants

RFK Jr Anti-Vax

Institute of the Paranormal: Research Division and Crackpot Division.

"I take it the tortoise wasn't available."

"I'm a rebel! I refuse the tyranny of evolution!"