Sentence Skeptics Gifts

'That's old Smitty -- he got life plus 99 years.'

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'OK, now you've seen it...'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

"If I hear the word ‘mindfulness’ one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it."

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Descartes's Demon

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

'If evolution is real how come after millions of years we're still unable to open a can of dog food?'

"Thank you for not praying."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'It's a wonderful find, and yet there's something suspicious about it.'

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

Ponzi Schemes Inc

"'Love makes a Subaru a Subaru' my eye!"

A person is reading another person's thoughts.