Signature Skeptic Pillows

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

"God works in mysterious ways."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"I totally meant to do that."

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"Social service teams are claiming that they can't recruit workers because of the vicious, biased reports we write about them!"

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Documentation Please

Science deniers Soc.

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."

Alternative Accountants

RFK Jr Anti-Vax

"Here's a great software update. It lets me delete all the features that I didn't want from the last update."