Signup Skeptic Gifts

Warning people with clipboards operate in this area.

'Too much Omega 3.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"I wish your temperature told the real truth about you."

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

"Here's a great software update. It lets me delete all the features that I didn't want from the last update."

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

'You're taking too much of that clamshell calcium, Margaret.'

"Oh yes, I've got the whole business computerised now"

"It's extremely rare for anyone to suffer side effects from health supplements Mr Baxter. Just how much cod liver oil have you been taking?"

Super and Super Duper Vitamins.

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

"They say registering online should take ten minutes to two days, depending on my computer skills."

'And just what studies show that losing weight causes global warming?'

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

Realistic terms of agreement options. . .

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'

'I can't see any future in my business.'

"We didn't learn anything today. We had to unlearn what the substitute taught us yesterday."

"Beware start-ups with a negative cash flow."

"If you send these people $50 they'll tell you how to make money online."

'They must work. I've never had a repeat customer.'

'You need to reduce your iron intake.'

This is not a scam. Send money and receive authentic 'This is Not A Scam' certificate."

'I've traveled back in time to warn you...in the future you'll be charged a fee to watch television AND the commercials, you'll need a computer to hear music, and morons roam the streets with tiny phones they talk extremely loud into!'

'When you've found some change for the gas meter have a look a this email you got from some bloke in Africa asking you to safeguard 13 million dollars...'

'I told you those supplements would improve your leaping ability...'

"I can guarantee you'll lose £50 as soon as you hand over your credit card."

"I never saved for a rainy day...I grew up shopping in an enclosed mall!"