Sign Skeptic Gifts

NO PARKING, from here to eternity.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

Cupid misses his shot.

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'My philosophy has always been, sell advice, don't follow it.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

Yes, but.

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"I totally meant to do that."

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Second Thoughts Wedding

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Science deniers Soc.