Session Skeptic Gifts

You're paying �100 a session at the psychiatrists? Are you crazy?!

UK border controls relaxed.

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

The suggestion box.

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

Suggestions Box

"The new system is 100% accurate as long as the client is called Colin and lives in Swindon."

Freedom Puppet

"Of course, Perkins likes to think he can make it to the top outside the corporate structure."

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve - Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."

Your DNA is in the database.

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

'The government is offering us financial incentives to offer out staff financial incentives to offer our customers financial incentives to come up withsome good ideas for financial incentives.'

'I'm going to have to go with the leeches on this one....'

"That'll keep them out."

Rational explanations

This homeland security is getting out of hand.

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

"And Lord, let not thy laws apply to me, your loyal servant, but only to those miserable sinners whose souls we endeavor to save when it suits us."

'For your safety, these stalls are monitored by a single person in a discreet location.'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

Atheist Richard Dawkins attacks Pope's beliefs.

"If I can't be honest with you, Cheryl, who can I pretend to be honest with?"

'We have a dysfunctional congress, dysfunctional economy, dysfunctional health care system... that's why I'm quitting government so I can join the insurance lobby and run things!'