Shopping Warrior Gifts

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

Changing Room Decisions

Can I wear this coat in the rain? Yes. It'll get soaking wet, but you can wear it in the rain.

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

'I've got it written down...'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'But what do you sell?'

"Returns"

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

Sold It All.

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

Super express lane for working mothers only!