Shopaholic Warrior Gifts

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Changing Room Decisions

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

Sold It All.

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

Shopping Torture

"There's another one! Pull over!"

Super express lane for working mothers only!

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

'You wouldn't stimulate the economy, so I did!'

'Don't worry about it. You're buying compulsion is perfectly normal.'

'Before you say anything, I've saved more than you earn in a month!'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"Mind wiping that scanner first? There's no telling whose stuff has been dragged over it."

Let's go, young man. Off to the mall! We're off to the mall. I thought we'd hit the big box retailers, then the food court, and finish off with a bookstore. Wait. When you said we were going shopping, I thought you meant we'd surf the net, check Amazon, read product reviews … No, no, soft internet shopper. This is actual shopping at a physical mall, cut-throat old-lady style. Is that a pith helmet?

"The flowers, the perfume, the poetry, the promises. Man, I love shopping"

"I'm addicted to online shoppin. It's so bad that I have a hallway full of unopened parcels."

"Mr. Rod gave me my employee review. He said I totally 'meet expectations'."

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

'I have this--wow! I must have THIS couch--deep seated envy complex...'

You spend all day comparison shopping, and you end up with THIS stuff?

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

"This is a once a year sale and I intend to ge what I came to buy!"

"Who do I complain to about your complaint department?"