Wishlist Warrior Gifts

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Changing Room Decisions

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

'You're too aggressive.'

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

Super express lane for working mothers only!

"One day, this will all be yours. But right now, I need you down in the warehouse."

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

"They're considering order-fulfillment as a new Olympic sport."

Xmas List.

'No appointments are available for the next three months, but you can always call in to the doctor's talk show.'

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

'They kept cancelling his operation so he decided to do it himself with the help of NHS Direct.'

'The doctor's busy. Can you come back when you're better?'

"Comfortable?"

The art of wrapping.

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

Why do medical test results always come back on a Monday so we have to wait through the whole weekend to get our life-and-death results? You've signed a mouthful.

Unlike other places, around here "take a load off" means "get back to work."

'I won't itemize. Just bring me one of everything.'

Dr. Godot's waiting room.

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

"We made a bit of a mess in Aisle 2."

Line of children to see Santa Claus; Line of parents to use the ATM

'OK, that's strike two. What is your third wish?'

"You know full well you didn't give me what I wanted last year so, this time - sign this promise!"

"I found out the three words a father hates most on Christmas morning. 'Some assembly required'."

'You know, this could take awhile - how about you and I do lunch somewhere?'

'World peace? Isn't that just an idealistic cliche?'

Aggressive grocery shopping