Wishing Warrior Gifts

'OK, that's strike two. What is your third wish?'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

What else is there to wish for?

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

' Get ready to make a wish.'

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Storm in a magic lamp.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Inkwell Genie.

"Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue disappeared."

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

'Before I grant you your wish you have to fill out an environmental statement.'

Wishing Well: Tax reciept available for business related wishes.

Fairy God Mothers Anonymous - "I've just been too much of a people pleaser."

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Make your wishes, but I can't promise anything regarding jobs.'

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

A Discreet Hint.

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

"Wanting to view it after taxes will cost you another wish."