Wishlist Warrior Pillows

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Changing Room Decisions

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

'You're too aggressive.'

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

Super express lane for working mothers only!

"One day, this will all be yours. But right now, I need you down in the warehouse."

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

"They're considering order-fulfillment as a new Olympic sport."

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

'No appointments are available for the next three months, but you can always call in to the doctor's talk show.'

'They kept cancelling his operation so he decided to do it himself with the help of NHS Direct.'

'The doctor's busy. Can you come back when you're better?'

"Comfortable?"

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

Dr. Godot's waiting room.

'I won't itemize. Just bring me one of everything.'

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

The art of wrapping.

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

"We made a bit of a mess in Aisle 2."

Line of children to see Santa Claus; Line of parents to use the ATM

Aggressive grocery shopping

'World peace? Isn't that just an idealistic cliche?'

"I found out the three words a father hates most on Christmas morning. 'Some assembly required'."

'OK, that's strike two. What is your third wish?'

"You know full well you didn't give me what I wanted last year so, this time - sign this promise!"

'You know, this could take awhile - how about you and I do lunch somewhere?'

"Slight misunderstanding...the 2000 isn't the target...it's the years it might take to reach the target!"