Sex And Relationships Commentator Pillows

"How many sex partners have you had?"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'Instead of nagging you, Walter, I've decided to write a syndicated column!'

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"Now who's being judgy?"

"I don't see what you see in him."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'I'm no good at sports, so I'll just have to settle for a trophy wife.'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage