Quirky Relationship Commentator Pillows

'The photos? These are the three people most dear to me ? my wife, my accountant, and my lawyer.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'Instead of nagging you, Walter, I've decided to write a syndicated column!'

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

"I don't see what you see in him."

"Now who's being judgy?"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

'I'm no good at sports, so I'll just have to settle for a trophy wife.'

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

Bread Winner-Need More Dough

"I don't want to get too serious."

"Have you seen my mind? My wife thinks I've lost it."

"We met in the Galapagos."

Colin knew things were going well when he saw his date trying to make him jealous.

"I married him for his intelligence, turns out that was artificial as well!"