Quirky Relationship Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Gerald didn't care that Lila was just using him for his straw.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

"First date hairball... awkward."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"You don't whisper anymore."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

Reading the sports pages.

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Can I have flies with that'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."