Relationship Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

"Well, if I'm going to hell I'd better get my butt in gear."

"You mean you've been living with this breath of mine for 23 years?"

"I think we should bore other people."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

'I think you should know, I have woodworm'.

"I still think you could have made better use of the palm tree."

'Well, we agree on one thing -- I wish you'd married Doris Day, too!'

Have you ever been cross questioned Yes, I'm married,

'I had to marry her... she was after my money.'

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

Life is for the birds.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

Reading the sports pages.

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

Aging Problems

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'