Relationship Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

"Well, if I'm going to hell I'd better get my butt in gear."

"You mean you've been living with this breath of mine for 23 years?"

"I think we should bore other people."

Do you mind if I have a friend spend the night? ?

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

'I think you should know, I have woodworm'.

"I still think you could have made better use of the palm tree."

'Well, we agree on one thing -- I wish you'd married Doris Day, too!'

Have you ever been cross questioned Yes, I'm married,

'I had to marry her... she was after my money.'

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

Life is for the birds.

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

Reading the sports pages.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

Aging Problems

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?